Still no sign of meh friends. The be Peeps around and I'm like... oh what the fuck, I'm frying them with Fire spells since I just remembered Rudesy gave me his Fire Materia. Ain't no fun like electrocuting them but kinda hard ta do that when all I get is like... more P33P3rs? Bleh~ I'm bored as shit. Still got no job, still no clue on Blacky so I'm like shit for brains, yo.

Anyone up fer drinks, damn it? Not that I beh payin', I tell ya. Got no clue on how many peopleh want in ta "Little Green Men" fighting spree so I'm like... what the fuck ever, y'know? If people are still interested tell meh!

DAY XV
Still ain't got no job. Still ain't seen anybodeh familiar and shit for shit. I'm going crazy 'ere and I gotta say... those little dudes are quite easy ta pick off y'know? Just a Bolt spell 'ere and there, maybe a whack of good all EMR too and yeah. I'm happeh. As much as I could be without Blackie...

Oh Blackie... how I miss you. T_T

RUDESY~!! YOU HERE OR WHAT?!?!

DAY IV
Fuckin' 'ell... Still no sight of Rudesy or Blackbird. Fuck~ and I can only keep borrowing money for so long... Might as well find meh a job soon but the ones I see on that messageboard thingy? Ain't interestin'. At all. Damn it. Shit~...

Maybeh I should just post an add fer a hitman or bodyguard or somethan'. Who knows. All I wanna beh is somethan similar ta what I do as a Turk, y'know? More fun that way, I say. Besides... ain't like I can do all that other shit. Maybe bartendin' but I ratheh beh te person bein' tended. Whorin' meself on te otherhand... heh. Nothan' diff'rent there, I say. Did that a lot when I was a Slum Rat. Ain't no big then, ain't no big now.

Eh~... I'll figure somethan' out.

DAY II
Where the fuck am I? Like really, shit, where the Planet’s mutha-fuckin’ in hell am I?! Better yet, where’s Rude?! Rude?! Buddy you there with me? Cause shit if ya ain’t I’m so fucking going on a drinking binge once I can find a bar or somethang. You know meh, I love meh liquor but shit, Rude where in the bloody hell are ya?! You know goddamn well that Tseng-song and Ruffie said nevah ta leave meh all be meself!

This fuckshit of a city is mutha-fuckin’ weird. Seriously. Kinda like… I don’t know. Like I’m over havin’ a “pleasant” dinner over at Conello’s place or somethang. You know like before we go over ‘nd bust ‘em heads for blackmail or shit. Damn I miss Conny, he had the greatest booze in all the slums. Remembah that one time we got ‘Lena all drunkface and everything. She flashed ‘veryone in te goddamn place. Even ya were one of te bastards just like nose-bleedin’ or something.

Babylon is mutha-fucking name of this place, Rudesy. Can’t say if I like it yet but you know meh and churches. We don’t fuckin’ get along! They avoid me like I avoid them! I’m a Slum Rat remember? Heck, I rather blow the damn thing up but shit, you’re the guy in charge of the pyrotech stuff. I just fly the jets.

…

DAMN IT!!!

WHERE’S MY BLACKBIRD!?!?!?!

YOU GUYS BETTER NOT LAY ONE HAND ON HER OR YOU ALL ARE FUCKING TOAST THE MOMENT I SEE YOU!!!

… I swear you guys, if I find out this is a huge mutha-fucking prank. You all are so fucking DEAD! DEAD YOU HEAR ME!!!